The idea

BPD
That has had a great effect on me. No so much as i have always felt such a thing would. I have thought such a thing would be an excuse. No more that it have allowed me to see why things are such and such.

John view of my outburt anger explosions that had no real reason. Now the stress concept and the release makes some sense.

The self injury, the lack of focus the mask of leadership the reluctance of taking command all have a reason where i spent years struggling to know why i thought this way.

The idea now is to not wallow but to focus and see where i can go with this new knowledge. Can i improve my life knowing a bit more of the reason why i think as i do and accepting the fact that i cannot look at my own thoughts as the norm.


Then there is the group. A group of peers who understand and relate but also i know will not be fooled easliy. I don't fear often but this is and exception